What You Don’t Know Could Hurt You…
As we prepare for the Halloween festivities, I decided this may be the perfect time to bring up psychic vampirism. Psychic vampirism can be highly destructive, manipulative and down-right exhausting.
Firstly, what is a psychic vampire? A psychic vampire is an individual that pulls energy from others (and others give willingly…unfortunately) and uses that energy to escape their own accountability or their soul requirement to learn how to heal themselves. Ultimately, they want/need source energy, but they do not want to work for it or they have not been taught how to access it.
Psychic vampires exist within several different characteristics or categories. Let’s explore these together:
- The coat-tail opportunist – The coat-tail opportunist is a type of psychic (or energetic) vampire that attaches themselves to you to make themselves look better in your presence. Simply by being associated with you, the coat-tail opportunist vicariously gains recognition, status and power. The coat-tail opportunist can be successful themselves and generally “designs” their wants, desires or goals around your successes. All of the sudden they like everything you like which creates a dynamic of “feeding” off of your energy or attention because “you now have something to talk about.” When someone who previously did not like what you liked and then all of the sudden they do… you may have a psychic vampire on your hands
- The victim – The victim is a type of psychic vampire whereby they play the victim. The man going through divorce with a horrible soon-to-be ex-wife, the woman who has gotten the short-end of the stick through divorce and now has kids to take care of all by herself, the co-worker that is always passed up for the promotion etc. This type of vampire will drain you with their tales of sorrow and all of the unspeakable actions forced upon them by others. The victim vampire is generally completely closed off and jumps from person to person in the work environment or dating environment because they are not healing what needs to be healed within them. They desire for people to value them and give them attention where the others in their life did not or they simply need an empath to “fix” them so they do not have to take accountability to “fix” themselves. Generally, this type of vampire will bash their ex, their boss, or anything they can get a hold of to make themselves look better and feel better by someone else empathizing with them and raising the flag for their cause. They attract empaths through the victim persona and then become very withdrawn and apathetic. If someone is speaking ill of someone else, of someone they used to date/be married to or just their horrible life…. You may be in the presence of a psychic vampire.
- The narcissist – Probably the worst of all psychic vampires, they exhibit all of the traits above but with a twist…they are very, very, strategic and in some cases sociopathic. The narcissist only cares about themselves. Their wants, their desires, their goals and their needs. When the narcissist is getting what they want it is all good, but when the narcissist is questioned or worse yet…is caught in a lie or a misdeed, they will do anything to blame someone else or build a lie that is so confusing and confounding it makes the other person confused and doubtful. They will bash former co-workers, former loves, you (for asking for clarity or the truth) and even their parents and children. They talk about how much they love these people and how good they are “on the inside” but this is nothing but a ploy. The reason this happens is because narcissists, generally, are living a lie. They have not learned how to get energy directly from source. To them, source energy is in limited supply.
- Narcissists create a world of lies around them. They are very smart and believe their lies even though there is no evidence to back up their stories. They will control you by confusing you, making you feel guilty, making decisions on your behalf without consulting you first and, in the worst case, make you dependent on them. They will buy you gifts that serve a purpose for them, not what you would want nor what you asked for! They will lay it on thick in the beginning by saying things like, “You are my bestie, no one would be able to be better friends than you and me!” “I am so in love with you we are going to get married, then go to Cabo, then you can move in etc…” all within two weeks… a little fast, you think? This is what a narcissist does, they reel you in with flowery words and in some cases significant actions as well. Once they feel you have become dependent on them or you are in “need” of their attention the game changes and your sanity could be at stake.
- Narcissists can destroy well-meaning people, they can make people want to commit suicide, hurt themselves or someone they love or you may want to simply escape. Narcissists do not say “no” or “yes” because they are authentic, they say “no” or “yes” to gain control of your energy, time and money. Narcissists will ask you to do something for them and of course, you will comply! However, when they are supposed to follow through or be true to their word, the promise, or the agreement no longer applies. They need to feed off of your negative (drama they cause and you feed into by being “hurt” and telling them so) and your positive energy. The question is, “Will you let them?” If there is someone you are interested in dating, or just hanging out with as a friend or business partner and they suddenly start making decisions for you (in your best interest of course), run hot and cold constantly, manipulate your weakness to get you to invest money in their or better yet “our” dreams…CAUTION! They love talking about dreams with you so they can revel in your despondency, confusion and anguish when they blame you for letting the relationship fail. Therefore it cannot be understated…they will turn words and experiences around to make themselves look better or alternatively to make themselves look like the victim and to make you the bad guy…if this is happening, you may have a psychic vampire or worse a sociopathic narcissist on your hands.
So how do you know you are in the presence of a psychic vampire?
- You will become very tired within about an hour or two of their presence
- When you leave their presence you may sleep more than normal or eat a large amount of carbohydrates. Why? Carbohydrates are immediate energy sources as they are easily converted to sugar, your body has been depleted of energy and your body’s translation to this depletion is “re-fuel!”
- Your eye-lids may get heavy
- You will second guess things that you were definite about
- You will get visceral indications such as stomach aches, nausea, general un-ease or a fight-or-flight reaction along with a desire to stay in their presence due to obligation or “feeling sorry” for them and their plight.
- The psychic vampire will rarely let you leave of your own volition; to keep you hooked they “fish” for interest. Fishing through interest is a way a psychic vampire will get you “off of the scent” to calm you down by changing the subject, but then will circle back to their primary subject/target after a few more drinks or a reluctant show of compassion or gratitude on their part. Their target is finding your weakness so they can use it against you and gain your energy and love with little to no effort.
- They will bash other people they have known or do know without sympathy or remorse within a week or two of knowing you…remember their goal is to look like the victim or the more mature and stable person. They do this by making people they don’t like look bad in your eyes. Generally, the people they don’t like have caught on to their game or called them out on it…in public.
- They set your rules for the relationship early e.g., “never lie or ignore me ever.” Guess who will be the first to lie and ignore over and over and over again whilst you stay true to your word/promise?
- You will get the third degree if you cancel on them but you are supposed to be “understanding” when they repeatedly cancel on you.
- They get you to do things that you would NEVER do for anyone else, nor would you be comfortable doing it.
- Things will be beautiful initially, but with a month or two you will find significant discrepancies as things progress to be one-sided, controlling and confusing.
In conclusion, psychic vampires can appear in several ways. They can be your best friend, your co-worker, your lover, or a family member. The way to combat a psychic vampire is to recognize the signs coming from you and them. Ultimately, you must create strong barriers so they cannot re-fuel their energy stores for attention at your expense. Vampires are very charming. They dis-arm people because they have learned to do so and that is how they survive. They cannot or will not get their energy from divine source because they were either not taught how to or they do not want to put in the effort.
How do I protect myself from psychic vampirism?
- Boundaries, if rules are set for the relationship make sure it applies to both parties not just one Vampires thrive on one-sided relationships
- Vampires will violate your space, don’t let them
- Stay strong physically, mentally and emotionally
- Do not engage once you recognize vampire-like traits in others, at a minimum keep a safe distance
- Vampires will try to mind meld (physically/spiritually), or control you through using your words against you…. stay calm in any and all circumstances
- Do not get emotional around a vampire it is a sign of weakness and they will strike (even though they will cry at the drop of a hat to get your sympathy, don’t fall for it)
If you stay in the presence of a psychic vampire, and if you make excuses or support them you do so at your own risk. Many people become psychic vampires through phasing and I will explain this at a later date in another article. Vampirism and/or narcissistic tendencies can and do exist even in empaths. Empaths are not immune, nor are empaths sacrificed in all cases. Many people become vampires or narcissists out of necessity or sheer survival. It can be argued that there is a little narcissist in all of us. Consequently, you may want to look at your own characteristics and behaviors…because you may be one of them without even knowing it.
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Love and Light